I GUESS I'M BARE MINIMUM.
One day in camp, my lovely bunky randomly looked at me and said, “Kai Sade, your man would enjoy with the way you are always taking care of us, and you’re honestly comfortable with whatever.”
I used to think I had a spleen (Sorry, Patrick from Love is blind) or should i say a spine ahbi na backbone. I always thought that I was very rigid about my opinions. But now I’ve realized I don’t even have one at all.
What brought my attention back to it was yesterday, a family member asked me which option i was comfortable with and i said ‘anyone’ and he proceeded to say “i’ve noticed how you never have an opinion about anything, you’re always cool with other people making decisions even to you disadvantage and you’re ready to twist yourself to adjust to whatever situation you find yourself which makes absolutely no sense.”
This also took me a few years back and a few situations back where my response to the questions people have always asked that required my opinion has been anyone, anything, and whatever. I’m ever ready to adjust, put my own feelings aside to please other people. It’s crazy.
I’ve always done this for everybody, and now I’m beginning to think who has ever thought I would be uncomfortable with certain situations and shrank themselves to make me comfortable. I’ve always prided myself on the fact that I’m not a lot to deal with and I can easily be handled, but maybe it’s not a thing of pride at all, because why should I adjust myself to handle others who are a lot and others can’t do the same for me.
On a lighter note, I went out to get something not too far from where I’m staying, scattered hair and all, and the children in this shop had the audacity to ask me if I’m married because I went out with a wrapper. These new set of teenagers are scary asf.
Subscribe abeg…
Do you think you conform because you don't have enough interest in whatever it is that's happening at that point or simply because you just want to "seem" too much?
Because sometimes maybe you just go with the flow because it's not that deep for you. Just saying.
Most times, I don't speak in conversations or give my opinion because I feel I don't have much or anything to say on the matter at hand or have the "who will even hear me out" kind of thought.
Meanwhile, there are other times I feel those conversations aren't worth my time. So, when I'm given the opportunity to contribute, I don't take it.
In other words, it's one of three things:
I don't want to waste my time or it doesn't concern me, I'm scared the people involved won't listen, I don't have something "tangible" ( not enough) to contribute.